Worst Cold Outreach Message?

What is the worst cold outreach you've ever received? Mine is as follows:

"Deal Team Six,

Yo, I saw you previously interned at [insert generic IB], do you know who heads up recruiting there? Can you pass along their contact information?


For context, I was no longer interning nor working FT at this bank, and had no prior connection to this kid (went to a different school and we had zero mutual connections). 

I really respect starting the message with "Yo", and then the complete oversight of asking me to just DM him the contact info of the head of recruiting. This prospect was on addy and wanted to get down to brass tacks asap. Why bother wasting his time with scheduling a call to learn about my experience or the firm when he could simply hurdle right over that part of the process?

Finally, ending it with a "Thanks" because this hardo just knew I was gonna simp and pass him along the contact info. Absolute alpha move. He had early VP promote written all over him. 

Needless to say, I leveraged past relations with the bank that I no longer worked for and insisted they grant this kid an offer while skipping the interview process altogether. I simply explained this big dog's time was far too valuable to be burdened by some rudimentary interview, chalked full of walk me through a DCF and tell me about yourself. 

A few years later, I checked up on where this absolute enigma was off to, and it turns out he was enrolled in large state school's JD program. Guess finance isn't for everyone.  

Comments (2)

Most Helpful
  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A

Anything that is more than a few sentences for an outreach often becomes cringe and you come off as a huge tryhard.

  • Associate 1 in IB-M&A

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